Over dinner.

Me : Mama, when I grow up, I want to be pretty like her.

Mum : Aren't you grown up already?

Me : Oh..yah.

I know something that you don't know.

The earth is having a high fever.

Backfire? Awwwwwwwww.

Dear Loser, (in a lack of a better word)

Just a piece of advice for someone like you. CAN'T TAKE JOKES, DON'T MESS WITH US. You're not cool. In fact, far from it. Learn the ropes if you want to be one of us. At least. Coz for all you know, you're our joke.

Yours sincerely,
Nadz.

p.s. xoxo.

I'm happy the way we are.

Thank you for making today awesome; for the soccer player.

Fuck you very much.

Ryan's not worth it. She totally deserves better.

J. Ng, make time stop.

2 months to 2. I really really love you. But, does it matter now? We have to leave.

I still want to be an Ng.

I spell exams.

2 down. Catching up with 1.

Fact or fiction?

In jealousy, we don't realise who we are.

Down.

You hate me do you? You left, on a wrong note. And you left me hanging. Blue ranger. It never dies. Tell me you don't hate me and I'll be fine.

He said.

I want to be with you, but not now. Let me achieve my dreams. So I can give you everything you want.

And I said, what big dreams you have.

I feel so wasted.

I didn't study. Reminder. Exam on Monday. Slap me in the face. And oh yea, I look like a minah now. Thanks to her.

A is for you.

I like you a lot.

What vocabulary.

Everyone is busy studying and I have not touched a bit. I am kinda screwed but really, my kanchiong level is still on the low. I'd consider studying tonight, but what the hell. I don't know. Exam's next monday. Tell me how many days again for me to chiong? And squeeze in 3 modules in my study plan. Awesome shit. I can't wait to fucking end.

I missed Valentine with J, but others carved my smile.

"Miss Nadzirah, last year you say you cannot be my valentine because we are still in primary school. Now I am in secondary school. Will you be my valentine teacher?"

Such sweetheart.

I love you J.

2 days with my mat. It was awesome.

Spell unfaithful.

Face it.

When they say, "Baby, I'm going clubbing. I won't grind, I'm just going to drink with my boys."
Girls, if you believe, you're fucking dumb.

And when they go, "I'm gonna meet the boys." And if it's every night, come on. Fuck it. Don't his guy friends have a life too? Why would they want to meet him every single night?! There you go, he's lying.

Somehow, you get lucky and managed to grab his phone. You peeped at his inbox messages to see if there's any girls name on the list. Phew. You can't find any. Most are boys, and even if there are girls' name, they're your girl friends. So, there you go, again. Happy this time thinking, oh well. He's got no scandal. But you know, IN YOUR FACE. Fuck, don't be dumb please. For all you know, those guy names on the list, they're fucking girls! Like, Alisa. Named Adam on his list. Come on. What the fuck, seriously.

I hope J's not like this. Really. Well, that's every girl's hope. Who would want an unfaithful boyfriend. Then again, girls, face it. You either know it or you don't. And don't bother checking with his guy friends. Coz friends help each other. Or in boys' term. Brothers don't kill each other. Sooo, there are 2 ways to overcome this. 1) Fucking leave him. 2) Play the game baby and make sure you win.

I've had enough conversations with my guy friends and this is exactly how they think. For some reason, paranoia struck me. Like I said, 2 choices. I can choose to be dumb or good at this game.

Pride and Immaturity.

When friends become enemies. When smiles become fake. When class becomes hell.
I can't fucking wait to graduate.

Grandpa, you're such a sweetheart but..I want to grow up.

At lunch, Atok asked about my plans after poly. I told him my working plans and I got scolded :(

He forbids me from working after graduation. He went like,

"Why do you want to work? You want car, take mine. If don't want mine, I'll buy you a second hand car. You want extra money, I give you. Pursue a degree and I'll give you anything you ask for. So what if you're turning 20. You're still a baby."

Atok, so easy for you to say. I don't need your money. I don't need a car. All I want is you to let me go. Let me learn how to be independent. You always hold me back.

I had green ranger for today, but I wanted a blue one.

I went out with a pilot today, and he's awesome :)

Depression mode activated.

"Need I remind you again I've undergone 4 treatments and my face. It's not getting any better. Mind you, your place is well-established. How now? "

Mother fucking bitch. I'm fucking 19 and I still have breakouts. And your fucking treatments are not working. And my parents paid $1000 ++ for it. Tell me life's not a bitch.

Bitchy elements.

At 3.45am this morning, I received a text from a girlfriend "Girls, I've given birth."
Not even half awake, I think I said, "Yay. You're a 19 year old mum!" What a bitch right. Omfg.

TGIF tomorrow.

It's Friday tomorrow. Don't fail on me. Please. My only day with J.

Shudders.

I know you love me. You told me a million times. I love you more. That's the problem.

Fashion Disaster.

Today, I survived with a purple dress and brown shoes.

Not broken. Just numb.

"You said you change. But there's nothing. You're still the same. I'm just your part time lover."

Since gym's your full time lover, you're out of my spotlight.

On the side note, wth. It's february already! And I'm still not used to seeing 2010 whenever I write my date.