TROUBLED LIFE.

Smoke tobacco. Fuck.

Smoke my life away and I don't give a shit.

Thanks for asking and of course I'm not fine. Jurong Primary called for work today and I was supposed to relief my sis's class. I had to turn down the offer coz there is no way I'm bailing out on the boys. Fafa can't make it sadly coz she just got grounded.

So they were sweet enough to skip school to keep me company. Tell me. If this is not friends, then what is. They brought to a lot of places I don't bother to know. Seriously, I'm still effing weak. Fuck. I just can't stand this anymore. Right, be strong, be strong. How strong? It doesn't help does it?

And so I smoked my life away. Screw much. I think it was 10 sticks?But trust me, that's pretty fine coz the boys finished one pack each in fucking 3 hours. Tsk. And we sheesha-ed at night. Awesome. Drown my sorrows in smoke.

Fine, I shall cry myself to sleep now. I swear tonight's going to be a hell of a night. Again.

And he said, "It is when you're down that you'll find strength." Strength, I don't see you coming.

J, I close my eyes so I can see you. I love you. Always.

On a brighter note, congratulations to my team for making it through the University of Adelaide thingy. I don't give a shit really, but I'm in. So yea. At least there's something to carve a smile.

Honestly, this is so supposed to be Monday's. My bad for getting emo all over and too weak to even eat. Break up always suck. Fuck it. My eyes are efffing swollen and I don't give a shit if I don't look pretty.

I'm addicted to working now. Think I'm a bitch for bailing out some friends on Monday. Really sorry but I think I have the right to find my happiness and I'm pretty sure it's these kids that put a smile on my face. 6B, I really love you.

p.s Mind my eyes. Ass.

The ring that gives the status.

Today wasn't much of a nice day. I was at my lowest point today but tell me what's new. Though this time, it was a different kind of 'lowest point'. To start with, being 19 isn't much of a fun. Seeing all your friends, well correction, not all, but a segment of them settling down with their partners and all. It just gives you goosebump. Everyone's settled down. Well, almost everyone. Myself? Being single, it makes it a lot worse.

Mum made me go to Shiq's wedding. Effing pissed. Just why she made me do that? Not as if I'd be happy to see him and in his part, happy to see me. Instead, we exchanged fake smiles. Fuck. Then again, congrats to you on your wedding. Our history, doesn't affect me a bit. Really. And wow, he's married. He's barely 22.

And just as I thought everything was over, we headed to my cousin's engagement. Oh ya, she's freaking 20. I'm happy for her. Sad for myself. I'm 19 and who the hell I'm with? No one. Kudos to me.

Freaking finally, another friend of mine who turns 23 this year, yea she too. Getting engaged this October. Wait, tell me. Is this a trend or I'm already old for all this? And I still feel I'm 9.

See, everyone's settled down. With the right one. Myself? Tell me. It's pretty perfect to be single.

p.s. J, I still love you.

I love you. But please, drop the hope.

Then he said,

"It's not about who you're attached to. It's about who you're really emotionally attached to."

H, you always know me inside out don't you?

Simplicity.

Yesterday night, I fought with the ex. I hate it when that happens but fuck, it always do. Anyways, I've got no fucking mood to even think of nice words for you to read.

I just don't get how humans play the game, I hate boys, and I hate girls kind of thing. Well, bottomline, we hate the opposite sex. Boys hate girls. Girls hate boys. What the fuck! So, why the fuck fall in love?!

Anyway, today I went tanning with the boyfriend. And then met up with the people. Yes, we is cool people. Ah fuck. I no mood. Bye.

Light.

Because all I see now, is pure darkness.