And Jake's suggestion on going for endless dates, so I'd stop thinking of J. Honestly, that was really a bad idea. I wish I could bring myself to see boys now, but the thought of having dates now, just not right. I'm so tired. Like, I need a break, but I don't know what.
You know, when you break up, you can't remain the best of friends. You're just putting up a fake front just for comfort. Telling yourself you still have him and all, but really, it doesn't help. Then again, pretending to be happy itself, takes up a lot of energy.
Anyhoos, on a happier note, not really, but oh well. Work was awesome. And, I think I wanna get a polaroid for myself.
I swear I was dead beat after work. Headed to Vivo for dinner with my parents and visited J while he was working. And that, was really a very wrong move. It felt as though my heart was stabbed a million times. My parents kind of noticed but what can they possibly do. Sucky much.
That point of time, dilemma on whether or not I should head to camp. Oh well, just to get my mind off J, I decided to spend the night with the friends. But fuck it, I'd forgotten most of them are couples, I realised I was digging a grave for myself.
I didn't realised M was observing me till he approached me and suggested we go for a morning walk. I thought it was just some normal thing and it struck me when he said, "I really need to talk to you but I didn't have the chance. Nadz, I need you to be strong...."
The story goes on. It's really nice to have someone who actually understands you. But really, it's still not helping.
