It has come to a point where you feel disgusted when boys talk to you
it's where you say "oh fuck, why is he calling?" when a boy calls you
it's a point where you know you can never escape from this mess
it's when you feel calm when you're far away and no boy could reach you
it's when you know you can fall anytime and only you can pick yourself up
it's very heartbreaking when you try so hard to stand up but end up falling
It's tiring to have the ex-boyfriend to have hopes on you
for him to try ultimately hard to win your heart
it's sickening to pretend not to love it but you're left with no choice
it's exhausting to look for answers and how hard you try, it's still a plain one
it has come to a point where you want to run away from him, silently so you won't see him hurt
it's hard to say,
"I love you but all i want from you is to be friends, nothing more coz I really can't see us together anymore. I can't deny I love you still but i swear, i don't want anything from you. A relationship? Never."
it sucks when the feeling of giving up haunts you, but you just can't give him up coz then again, he's been with you for six years; only he knows you inside out. No one can know you more than he does. Not even your current boyfriend. But at the end of the day,
you just know, it's not him you want to be with. Or prolly, you're not ready.
So, that's a problem. You want him by your side coz he knows you so well, you don't have to tell him what's wrong with you but at the same time, tell him, "you're not the one i want to be with."
Now how do you say to him, "I just want us to be friends." It sounds easy, but trust me, it takes a lot of courage and risk. I have yet to do so. :(
it's really hurtful to treat the boyfriend badly when he deserves better
you tried so hard but you end up forcing yourself
you want to be free but you wouldn't want to see him hurt
you'd rather stick with him just as long as he's doing fine
but along the way, you hurt him when you admit that things are different now
you expect him to leave you, but instead he says, "I won't let you go."
there again, you're stuck
still trying, never gives up to make things better once again
but no matter how much you try, the worse it gets
i'm tired boy, i'm really really tired. Can't you see?
And there you have, a friend, where you find happiness
you know all along, it was wrong
but you don't seem to care coz you start loving his presence
you know you can't lose him because that is where you can find your smile
it's sad somehow, that happiness is not there to stay
it has to go one day, not soon, maybe later
and then, all you can say is "thanks for everything.i'll miss you."
There you go, the major problems, never fail to bring you down
now who says it ends here?
how about, you disappointing boys when they ask you out a lot of time and you keep
saying you're busy but the fact is you just can't be bothered
how busy can you get having to reject them everytime?
how about, your guy friends trying so hard to cheer you up when they know you're down
but you're just tired to listen to what they have to say
coz at the end of the day, it is you who makes the difference
but it's pretty sad you still don't know what you want
why must it be related to boys?
i have tonnes of girlfriends, now i don't see the point
i see me risking myself penning down these thoughts
but at least, i've let my heart out
i swear i feel a lot better
god, i beg you to end this misery
I'd rather think of my studies than wasting 3/4 of my life pleasing other people.
Just so you know, true love is not in my dictionary. Period. I'm left hanging, confused.
